Kneeling Man: Sometimes I suspect the Pope has his people knock up a whole lot of random ecclesiastical sounding tweets so he can pretty much whip them off the shelf as he needs them.
God: He also tweets about current events.
KM: Yeah, but not very often.
God: Whenever he deems it necessary.
KM: So does he get people to generate a stash of tweets or not?
God: How would I know?
KM: You know everything.
God: Fair enough. But you understand the concept of doctor patient confidentiality right?
KM: You’re not a doctor. You told me that when I said my knees hurt.
God: And I’m not a lawyer either. But my requirement for confidentiality is greater then all the doctors and lawyers combined.
KM: So you’re not going to tell me who writes the Pope’s tweets?
KM: Can you tell me any secrets at all?
God: What sort of secrets?
KM: The sort of stuff you tell prophets. You know, revelations.
God: Are you thinking of starting your own church?
KM: There’s good money in it, apparently.
God: There are more than enough churches already, Neel.
KM: So that’s a no?
God: That’s a no.
KM: But you don’t mind me posting our conversations on the internet?
God: Not at all. Why would I?
KM: In case people did start to treat me like a prophet.
God: Why would they do that?
KM: Because I’m talking to you directly. Just like the Pope.
God: You think people will believe you?
KM: Why not? Some people believe all that ludicrous crap in the Book of Mormon.
God: Good point. And what about Scientology? I’m amazed anyone believes that nonsense. And I know exactly how stupid people are.
KM: What do you think might be a good story to make up if you did want to start a church?
God: It’s time you got some sleep, Neel.
KM: Okay. Thanks, God. Good night.
God: Night, Neel.