Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

Trump with Moses
Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

The reason that Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites can be summarized easily. Trump behaves exactly like the God that Evangelicals have always worshipped.

Both of them are vain, selfish, narcissistic, vengeful and capricious. God even came up with a plan to teach mankind a lesson that involved impregnating another man’s wife. What could be more Trumpian than that? God also claims credit for every good thing that happens, and deflects all things bad, “mysterious ways” being God’s equivalent of “fake news”.

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What Trump wants from his supporters is the same thing the God of Evangelicals expects from his. Obedience and unquestioning loyalty.

If Trump were to write a set of Ten Commandments they would probably be very similar to God’s top ten. Take the first four commandments for example –

Trump 1st Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – I am the Lord thy God, Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

Trump 2nd Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image for I, the Lord, your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

Trump 3rd Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. The Lord will not absolve anyone who takes His Name in vain.

Trump 4th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the Lord, your God commanded you.

The God of the Bible states clearly that the most important four, of the ten most important things anyone has ever heard, and will ever need to hear, meaning the four most important things for people to live their whole lives by, are all to do with praise, worship and loyalty. They are all about how great God is.

Would Trump have stopped at just four? Who knows?

Trump 5th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord, your God is giving you.

There’s an implied threat in this one, just as there is with Trump needing to obey Putin if he wants his days of freedom to be long.

The God of the Bible does not include rape and slavery in his Ten Commandments, and it’s highly unlikely that Trump would either, given his behaviour, although the Commandments are rules that don’t apply to the person making the rule. “Thou shalt not kill” isn’t a seamless fit with the story of Noah’s Ark, for example, if it’s interpreted as “nobody should kill”, but what it actually says is “you shall not kill”. God will do whatever he pleases.

Trump 6th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shall not murder.

Trump 7th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shall not commit adultery.

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Trump 8th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shall not steal.

Trump 9th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Trump 10th Commandment Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites

God – Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s house. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to him.

And there endeth the Commandments.

Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites becauseTrump behaves exactly like the vain, selfish, narcissistic, vengeful, jealous and capricious God that Evangelicals have always worshipped.

Any person who can be conned into taking a knee for either one of these megalomaniacs can likely be conned into taking a knee for the other.

Evangelical Trump supporters are not hypocrites. Stupid? That’s another thing.

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Jesus came down on earth the mystery of the Cross


Jesus came down on earth the mystery of the Cross

Kneeling Man: Oi, God! You there?

God: Yes, Neel.

KM:  Jesus came down on earth the mystery of the Cross? “Jesus came down on earth”, what’s that supposed to mean?  Doesn’t the Vatican have any competent translators? Did you see the Pope’s latest tweet?

God: I’m omniscient, Neel, I see everything.

KM: Of course you do. What do you think about the way that he states something is very simple and straight forward, as if it’s an obvious fact, and then calls it a mystery?

God: He may be reminding his congregation that I work in mysterious ways.

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KM: You know what I think’s mysterious about you?

God: What’s that, Neel?

KM: Churches are called God’s house, right?

God: Yes…

KM: And they’ve sometimes been touted as sanctuaries where good people can hide out against evil doers?

God: Uh huh…

KM: Well how come you’ve allowed hundreds of thousands of children to be raped by your own employees in your own house?

God: It’s one of the consequences of free will, Neel.

KM: Being omniscient and omnipotent means that you watched every single one of those children being raped and deliberately decided to do nothing about it. And you also watched as your church protected and enabled the rapists by moving them to new places to rape again. Either you aided and abetted the carnage, or the whole omniscient and omnipotent schtick is bullshit. Which is it?

God: Mysterious ways, Neel. Isn’t that what you wanted to talk about?

KM: Another mystery is why you allow so many rapists and pedophiles to become priests in the first place.

God: There’s a bit of a shortage of normal men, by which I mean men with a healthy sexual appetite for adult women, who buy into the whole vow of celibacy thing. Doesn’t make sense to most.

KM: Was that the point of the celibacy rule? To encourage those with abnormal desires?

God: I didn’t invent the rule.

KM: It’s your church. Aren’t you omniscient and omnipotent?

God: I thought you wanted to talk about the Pope’s tweet about the mystery of the Cross?

KM: Nice deflection, big boy. And by nice I mean, childish, simplistic and obvious. Never mind. I knew you’d have no answers for the tricky questions. So, back to the Pope. He says A causes B, therefore mystery. What the absolute fuck? Once again the pontiff tweets some inane bullshit and within hours, tens of thousands of people are liking and retweeting it.

God: Good to be Pope.

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KM: Why did Jesus have to “come down on earth” as a baby? If he’d arrived as a 30 year old preacher he could have got on with doing his stuff straight away. As it is, the story has a decades long hole in the middle of it where absolutely nothing happens. You sent your “son” down to do something “important”, but not so urgent that it couldn’t wait for a few decades while the Jesus half-human-thing muddled along through a mostly unremarkable infancy, childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Act One, a few days, a birth. Act Two, literally decades of literally nothing. Act Three, a brief flurry of activity, culminating in violence and gore. Good finale, but a terrible story structure. Also wouldn’t it have been more impressive and easier for people to believe his story if he’d descended on a light beam? Or a rocket-powered unicorn?

God: You can bag the story as much as you like, Neel, but it works. Billions of people love Jesus.

KM: Even though he doesn’t exist?

God: Not important. People love Harry Potter and James Bond. There are even people that love Donald Trump. Apparently because he “tells it like it is”. Ha ha ha.

KM: Wouldn’t the world be a better place if you hadn’t made such a large proportion of people so fucking gullible?

God: If I made everybody really smart, who’d go to church?

KM: At last, a plausible answer. Night, God.

God: Night, Neel.

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