Question for God from Nigel
Kneeling Man: Oi, God, it’s that time again. I have a question for God from Nigel. Nigel wants to know how and why you created day and night three days before you created the Sun and the Moon?
God: The amazing thing, Neel, is that more people don’t question that. Not to mention plants and trees and fruit, all being created before the sun.
KM: So what’s the answer?
God: Well the guys that wrote the Bible got it wrong, obviously.
KM: Isn’t the Bible your infallible word?
God: It should be. But you think it’s hard to get good help these days? Try back then. Finding someone who wasn’t part of the establishment who was even semi-literate wasn’t easy.
KM: So it was a transcription problem?
God: Transcription problem, malfunction, meltdown. Lost in translation. Chinese whispers. All of that. And, on top of the poor standard of literacy, they really didn’t have a clue about how anything worked.
KM: So whatever they wrote down they never questioned?
God: Exactly. It’s unfair to call them stupid, because that was the standard of the time, but by today’s standards they were very stupid and ignorant beyond belief.
KM: Which is why they could write about creating trees and fruit before the sun existed.
God: Exactly. It’s obviously ridiculous. They thought the world was flat back then.
KM: They must have seen boats go over the horizon and come back. It’s only a few miles to the horizon when you stand on a beach.
God: Two point nine in fact. Or four point seven kilometres. For a person of average height. Which is one point eight metres or thereabouts.
KM: I think we’re digressing.
KM: Why didn’t you fix it?
God: The Bible?
KM: Yeah. But specifically the bit we’re talking about. The stuff right at the start of Genesis that makes no sense. That in today’s world is so obviously, scientifically, just flat out impossibly wrong.
God: I thought it was funny at the time. Sort of like a blooper reel. I thought it would be interesting to see how long it would take for people to realise that it was ridiculous and needed fixing, and then fix it.
KM: But they never did.
God: No. You all got a lot smarter, but not in every way. Still a few places in the human brain that haven’t advanced at all compared to your ancestors.
KM: Meaning superstition?
God: Mm hmm.
KM: Gullibility would seem to be our biggest shortcoming as a species.
God: Amen to that.
KM: Okay, thanks, God.
God: Sleep well, Neel.