Kneeling Man

Kneeling Man: I’ve been having a bit of trouble with my knees lately.

God: I’m not your doctor.

KM: I know, but I think the problems might come from praying.

God: You think praying causes problems?

KM: No, no, I’m not saying that. Well, sometimes praying makes people do bad things, kill people, blow themselves up, that sort of thing, but that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s just my knees.

God: Uh huh.

KM: Is it really necessary that I always kneel when we talk?

God: You understand there’s a reason for kneeling to pray?

KM: Ah… yeah? To make us aware of our place as the inferior or lesser party in the conversation?

God: Submission, Neel. Submission. I love you, not as an equal, more like the way you love your dog. And, as you know, a disobedient dog is not as easy to love.

KM: I don’t have a dog.

God: Oh, right, that’s the other Neal.

KM: What I’m asking is that as long as I’m submissive, would it be okay if I sat down while we talked? I’ll still look up and bow my head and all that.

God: We could try it. See how it goes. I mean even if you’re not kneeling, you’ll still be Neel.

KM: Ha ha, good one. Thanks, God. Good night.

God: Is that it?

KM: Yeah, sorry but I really need to straighten my legs.

God: Perhaps you could find a nice cushion.

KM: So, you really do want me to kneel?

God: Neal?

KM: Yes, God?

God: Good night.

KM: Night, God.