Question for God from Lucia
Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Are you there?
God: I’m omnipresent, Neel. Why do you keep asking?
KM: Just checking. Lucia has a question for you.
God: Who the hell is Lucia?
KM: You’re asking me? Aren’t you omniscient?
God: Just testing. Go ahead.
KM: Lucia wants to know why you have not shown yourself. She’s prepared to believe in you if you do.
God: Sorry, Neel, she’s placed some unreasonable conditions on her request.
KM: What?
God: The bit about not looking like humans.
KM: I didn’t tell you that bit.
God: Omniscience, Neel. She demands that I not look like a human being. It clearly says in the Bible that I made man in my own image. So the question is not valid.
KM: Not so fast, big boy. She’s probably thinking that where you live, outside of space and time, you have no need for breathing holes, eating holes or excreting holes. Also our shape and size are dictated by earth’s gravity, so you don’t need those either.
God: The Bible says…
KM: Shut up. Ignore that bit. Your first four commandments demand that we believe in you, and here is someone offering to be one of the sheep in your flock, and all you’ve got to do is show yourself. Are your commandments not important to you? Is that really too difficult for an omnipotent being?
God: I work in mysterious ways.
KM: And there it is. When reason fails you always pull out the old religious code for bullshit.
God: That’s not very nice.
KM: You can go now.
God: Bastard!
KM: Go!
God: …
KM: So Lucia, there you have it. You now have God’s inadvertent blessing to carry on living your best life without any fear of superstitious woo woo. Good luck.
