Question for God from Jim R :
Can you make a rock too big for you to be able to move?
Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Are you there?
God: Yes, Neel. As always.
KM: Jim R has a question for you.
God: Uh huh.
KM: Jim wants to know if you can make a rock that’s too big for you to be able to move.
God: How big does he want it? The moon’s a rock and I move that through space at thousands of miles per hour.
KM: Yeah, yeah. Everything’s moving through space at high speed. Because of the big bang.
God: Which I created.
KM: Since when?
God: Since it went bang of course.
KM: Why didn’t you tell the guys that wrote the Book of Genesis about the Big Bang? That way they wouldn’t have made such colossal dicks of themselves.
God: That would’ve been too difficult for them to understand. They were totally ignorant of such things back then.
KM: Yeah. They made that pretty obvious. Anyway, we’re getting off topic. I think Jim meant a rock on the surface of the earth that you couldn’t move.
God: Like the one I threw at the dinosaurs?
KM: Your followers don’t believe that. They think the earth’s six thousand years old and that Fred Flintstone had a pet dinosaur.
God: Oh, yeah, right. Well it might depend on whether the rock wanted to be moved.
KM: What?
God: I only appear to people who desperately want to see me, and I only move rocks that want to be moved.
KM: You’re really trying to avoid the question.
God: I’m God. I can do anything.
KM: So you can make a rock that’s too big for you to move?
God: It’s a trick question. You’re just going to say it proves that I’m not omnipotent if I can’t make a rock that’s too big for me to move.
KM: Yeah, I think that’s the point.
God: Where does he live? I’ll hurl a great big rock at his house.
KM: But you only appear in this time and space for people who desperately want to see you, because they want to believe in you. I’m pretty sure Jim thinks you don’t exist. Therefore you can’t touch him.
God: Shit!
KM: Til next time…
God: Yeah, can’t wait.
