Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Have you seen this one where the Pope pontificates on marriage, difficult moments and the path of love? Why does the Pope think he knows so much about marriage?
God: The Pope is a very wise man.
KM: Yeah, I know. But he doesn’t have much experience in this area.
God: The Pope’s married to the Church.
KM: For sure. I know that. But isn’t he talking about marriage in the man woman, romantic love sense?
God: Yes, it seems like it.
KM: That’s an area he doesn’t have much experience in, does he?
God: Of course he doesn’t have experience in that sort of thing. What do you mean by much?
KM: Point taken. It’s unlikely that he’s had any sort of intimate experience with an adult woman.
God: I think that’s a given, but your phrasing seems to have implications.
KM: You’ve got to admit that sex scandals involving priests and adult women are almost unheard of. Whereas priests and children…
God: Neel, the Pope hasn’t been accused of anything.
KM: Why would any man with a normal, healthy level of sexual desire for adult women ever become a priest?
God: I was about to say Christ knows, but in fact he doesn’t.
KM: They made up the celibacy rules for themselves. Prima facie evidence of the sexual appetites of the priesthood.
God: I think you’re getting off the topic.
KM: Did you ever give any pope or priest any indication that you wanted them to make up rules that contradicted the natural behaviour of the human creature you so intelligently designed?
God: No, I didn’t.
KM: So they just decided for themselves that’s what they wanted to do?
God: Yes, Neel, now are we going to talk about the Pope’s tweet or not?
KM: You’ve got to admit that if you had an organization of men with unsociable sexual desires, the priesthood would have to be the best false flag organization you could imagine.
God: I’ll give you that.
KM: Thanks, God. Right, back to the tweet. I understand the bit about difficult moments, but is he saying that all difficult moments are like Jesus’ experiences on the Cross?
God: Didn’t he say experiences of the Cross?
KM: Yeah, you’re right… But I thought the experience of the Cross was the ultimate sacrifice made by you and Jesus for us all, which is not really in the same league as flushing the toilet when someone’s in the shower is it?
God: I’m not certain about this but I think he might be alluding to the Cross as in a marriage reaching a crossroads, and when you continue the journey together, the path is stronger.
KM: Uh… okay…
God: Is there anything else?
KM: Ah, no… I think I’ll just let this one go through to the keeper. Thanks for your help.
God: Through to the keeper?
KM: Don’t they play cricket in heaven?
God: Sporting events that produce winners, also produce losers. There no losers in heaven.
KM: Well that sucks. Night, God.
God: Good night, Neel. Sleep well.
