Pope thanks all who teach in Catholic schools
Kneeling Man: Oi, God, what’s this shit? Educating an act of love, giving life? Could almost be a description of fornication, no? You’d think he’d be more careful about this sort of thing. What with all the pedophile priest business.
God: You think he’s thanking teachers who have sex with their pupils?
KM: Maybe he’s giving them a sly nod for doing the work of the church. You know, indoctrinate children for us and it’s okay if you fuck a few of them. The church preaches love. So what’s wrong with a bit of the old educating an act of love? Nudge, wink.
God: I don’t think that’s what he’s saying, Neel.
KM: He’s thanking “all those who teach in Catholic schools”. That definitely includes the pedos. That’s almost worse than “very fine people on both sides.”
God: I doubt that’s what he means.
KM: Really? He sentenced a pedophile priest to a lifetime of prayer. What’s the punishment for a singer who commits murder? A lifetime of singing?
God: The Vatican does seem to be morally compromised from time to time.
KM: I think you mean all the time. Anyway, do you think it’s a good idea to indoctrinate children?
God: It’s definitely good for the church. Keeps the numbers up.
KM: Is it good for the children? Or for the world as a whole?
God: That’s a big question.
KM: Okay. Try this. If children in the middle east were not brainwashed by being made to learn the Quran, would they be more or less likely to kill each other?
KM: Oh come, on. No bullshit now. If there was no religion there’d be a lot less killing. Admit it. It’s so fucking obvious. You start lying to me and I won’t even bother imagining that you exist any more.
God: All right, all right. That’s true. Neighbours with different religious beliefs do tend to kill each other more than neighbours with the same beliefs.
KM: Or neighbours with no beliefs. Like the Scandinavian countries. Or Australia and New Zealand. Countries with mostly atheist populations are the most peaceful places on earth. True or false?
KM: True or false?
KM: How do you feel about that?
God: What is this, a bloody interview?
KM: Nice Aussie accent. Are you trying to pander to me?
God: Aren’t you tired, Neel?
KM: Bloody right, I am. Sick and tired. Of all the bullshit.
God: Goodnight, Neel.