Question for God from Andrew G

Question for God from Andrew G

Kneeling Man: Oi, God, you listening? I’ve got a question for God from Andrew G. He’s thirteen years old.

God: Shoot.

KM: Well that was an unfortunate word choice. He wants to know what he should do if a gunman comes into his classroom?

God: Oops. Sorry about that. That’s a tricky one.

KM: Yep. Glad I don’t have to answer it.

God: It would depend on a few things. He might be able to escape out another door.

KM: It’s a classroom, God. They’ve often got just the one.

God: It might be an idea to make sure they all have two or three in future.

KM: That’s not really going to help Andrew right now though is it?

God: No, I see your point. What’s the likelihood of there being a good guy with a gun in there?

KM: Are you taking the fucking piss? It’s a fucking school. If the kids and teachers start bringing guns into classrooms what do you think might happen?

God: Yeah, okay. If Andrew’s at the back of the room, maybe hiding on the floor would be best. Or… If he’s right next to the gunman and could maybe tackle him, that might work. Doesn’t the school have guidelines?

KM: I don’t know. But interesting you should mention the tackle thing because he did also ask that if he tackled a gunman and got killed, would he go to heaven? Even if he hadn’t confessed or prayed for a while?

God: If he’s trying to save people then… yeah, I guess… I don’t see why not… but if he had a suicidal motive… well… I probably need more information really. Did he ask anything else?

KM: No that’s it.

God: Okay then. Until next time.

KM: Like tits on a bull.

God: What?

KM: Nothing. Situation normal. Night, God.

God: Night, Neel.

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