Meaning to my life here on earth
Kneeling Man: Oi, God, I don’t understand why he tweeted this. Jesus gives meaning to my life here on earth?
God: What’s to understand, Neel? It makes perfect sense to me.
KM: It’s just stating the bleeding obvious isn’t it?
God: He’s reiterating his faith.
KM: Sure, but without Jesus, he wouldn’t even have a job, let alone meaning.
God: Which is exactly what he’s saying.
KM: And hope for the life to come. Hope? A bit weak don’t you think? The whole selling premise of his organisation is that you’ll get the big payoff when you’re dead. It requires faith. Here he says he hopes for the life to come. Hope? Hope is buying a lottery ticket. Faith is what makes people tithe ten percent. But the big kahuna can only muster hope? Sad.
God: You’re playing with words, Neel.
KM: Theologians play with words. In fact it’s pretty much all they do.
God: That’s one way of looking at it.
KM: You don’t think he’s implying there’s a possibility of Jesus not being there?
God: Not being where?
God: You’re not doubting your faith are you, Neel?
KM: Ha ha, good one. I’m just wondering whether the Pope might be doubting his. You know like Mother Teresa. What with all his talk of coprophagia and things.
God: I thought we agreed you shouldn’t think about that.
KM: I’ve been trying not to, but it’s like a bloody annoying Abba song that just won’t go away.
God: Which one?
KM: Cut that out. You know it’s all of them. Don’t you dare start humming.
God: I was tempted.
KM: Yeah, but don’t. Please. Anyway, I just thought if you were going to say something to ten million people you might perhaps put a bit more work into it.
God: He tweets every day pretty much. You can’t expect them all to be gems.
KM: That’d be a miracle wouldn’t it? If every single one was just, wham, knock your socks off brilliant?
God: Yes it would. Anyway, don’t you need to get some sleep?
KM: Yeah, I do. By the way, could you tell me something about the last miracle?
God: What do want to know?
KM: What was it? What actually happened? When and where? And what was the outstanding thing that made it a miracle, something that couldn’t happen according to the laws of nature?
God: I like you, Neel. Always trying to push back the curtain of mystery. Sleep well.
KM: Night, God.