Question for God from Helen
Kneeling Man: Oi, God! You there? I have a question for God from Helen. It’s a bit of a curly one.
God: Curly like a pig’s tail?
KM: Sort of. In that it’s to do with Jews and Muslims. What’s with that whole anti-bacon thing anyway?
God: Is that the question?
KM: No. Sorry. The question is, “Why did you bequeath the bulk of the world’s oil to the Muslims? I thought the Jews were your chosen people.”
God: Well the chosen people all depends on who’s talking.
KM: So the Jews aren’t your chosen people?
God: If they believe they are then they are. A lot of religions feel that way.
God: Of course. Seventh Day Adventists, Mormons, Rastafarians, Muslims. You name it. There are thousands of them. You can’t really be a believer unless you believe that your faith is the one true faith.
KM: Makes sense. So what about the oil then?
God: Oil wasn’t important back then.
KM: But you must have known it’d become important?
God: Well, yeah, sure.
KM: So why did you put so much of it in one place? Specifically, under the Muslims?
God: There weren’t any Muslims when I put the oil there.
KM: Oh, yeah. I hadn’t thought about that. But you must have known…
God: Besides I didn’t put it all there. It’s all over the place. It’s just that the easy to find stuff was found there first.
KM: So it wasn’t favouritism?
God: I’ve already given you two reasons why it wasn’t.
KM: Still seems a bit unfair.
God: Life isn’t fair, Neel. That’s a lesson everyone needs to learn. And besides if people hadn’t been so stupid and slow to get onto solar power the whole oil thing wouldn’t have been anything like such a big deal.
KM: Stupid or vested interests?
God: Fair point. Both really. Electric motors were invented about the same time as internal combustion engines. From that point on you guys stuffed it up. You can’t blame everything on me.
KM: Fair enough. Okay. Thanks, God.
God: You’re welcome, Neel.