God takes Bitcoin? When the Pope tweeted some advice about how to look upon the poor, I noticed that he didn’t include any mention of helping the poor. So I asked God about the Pope’s tweet. Secret spy camera footage of that historic event has now surfaced on YouTube. You can watch it here or, …
Kneeling Man: Oi, God! You there? God: Yes, Neel. KM: Jesus came down on earth the mystery of the Cross? “Jesus came down on earth”, what’s that supposed to mean? Doesn’t the Vatican have any competent translators? Did you see the Pope’s latest tweet? God: I’m omniscient, Neel, I see everything. KM: Of course you …
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Leaving the Catholic Church is not usually as difficult as leaving other faith-based organisations, such as Scientology or Islam, where the consequences can be brutal. A Catholic doesn’t have to renounce Christianity in order to leave the church. There are many non-Catholic Christian churches that will happily welcome ex-Catholics. A Catholic could also decide to …
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When was the Catholic Church NOT a Haven for Pedophiles? Kneeling Man: Oi, God! You there? God: Of course, Neel. KM: Right, stick your fingers in your ears and bugger off, you’re not going to want to hear this. God: What? KM: Piss off, I’m not in a good mood. This is a rant and …
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Is the Pope too enthusiastic about the flavour of Jesus Christ’s flesh? Kneeling Man: The flavour of Jesus. Holy shit. Oi, God, you there? God: Sure am, Neel. As always. KM: I was concerned a while back when the Pope talked about becoming sexually aroused by faeces, but I think his enthusiasm about the flavour …
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Spouse of Mary aka St Joseph the Cuckold Kneeling Man: Oi, God, your boy’s on fire today. Jamming a whole shitload of piss-takes into one little tweet. God: What are you talking about, Neel? KM: Best wishes to fathers? God: Yeah, and? KM: Well he wasn’t a father was he, old Joseph? He was a …
Pope thanks all who teach in Catholic schools Kneeling Man: Oi, God, what’s this shit? Educating an act of love, giving life? Could almost be a description of fornication, no? You’d think he’d be more careful about this sort of thing. What with all the pedophile priest business. God: You think he’s thanking teachers who …
Beauty in God’s plan for humanity Kneeling Man: Oi, God, his vaticanly holiness has fired out another another word salad one. I think he probably has his people knock up a whole lot of random ecclesiastical sounding tweets so he can pretty much whip them off the shelf as he needs them. God: He also …
Entrust the New Year to Mary, Mother of God Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Does this mean the Pope trusts your mother more than he trusts you and Jesus? God: I doubt that’s what he means. KM: So it’s more like, give Mary a go because 2016 was such a crapper? God: No, I don’t think …
Meaning to my life here on earth Kneeling Man: Oi, God, I don’t understand why he tweeted this. Jesus gives meaning to my life here on earth? God: What’s to understand, Neel? It makes perfect sense to me. KM: It’s just stating the bleeding obvious isn’t it? God: He’s reiterating his faith. KM: Sure, but …
Sexually aroused by faeces Kneeling Man: Oi, God! The Pope’s been talking about coprophagia. God: Yes I saw that. KM: What does it mean? God: Why are you asking me? Didn’t you look it up? KM: Yes, I did. God: I know you did. KM: Getting sexually aroused by faeces? I’d never heard of such …
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The mystery of the Cross understood in prayer Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Have you seen this shit? God: What is it now, Neel? KM: Praying and weeping while kneeling to reveal the mystery of the cross understood in prayer. A mystery of love. What the fuck is he talking about? God: The cross, Neel. You …
Pope says love fills the empty spaces caused by evil Kneeling Man: Oi, God. The Pope’s talking crazy shit again. Any idea what he’s on about? God: The importance of love, Neel. Christian love. KM: So he’s not talking about making love then? God: No. KM: Well that’s lucky. Otherwise it’d be like he was …
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Pope says mercy can save humanity and the world Kneeling Man: Oi, God, did you see this? The Pope says mercy can save humanity and the world. Saving humanity and the world’s a big one. God: It certainly is. KM: You think sin and evil are as big a threat as climate change? God: They’re …
Pope tweets a Heart full of love – not a Led Zep song Kneeling Man: Oi, God! The Pope’s tweeting about a heart full of love. Sounds pretty good. God: Nothing finer. KM: And all I have to do to get one is to be merciful. How merciful will I have to be to get …
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Kneeling Man: Oi, God, what’s the silly old coot banging on about here? I’m thinking that he might be asking a bit much. What do you think? God: He’s asking you to remember to make Jesus an ongoing part of your life. KM: Yeah, but I really don’t have much control over who shows up …
Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Have you seen this one where the Pope tweets about hate, darkness, love, hope and human faces (not faeces). God: Why did you bring faeces into it? Shock value? KM: Yeah. And because the Pope has been known to talk about being sexually aroused by faeces, but there’ll be another post …
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Kneeling Man: Oi, God! Have you seen this one where the Pope pontificates on marriage, difficult moments and the path of love? Why does the Pope think he knows so much about marriage? God: The Pope is a very wise man. KM: Yeah, I know. But he doesn’t have much experience in this area. God: …
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Kneeling Man: Oi, God! What do you think about this? The Pope says faith is given to us in and through the Church. We wouldn’t have faith without the Church giving it to us. God: Is there a problem with that? KM: Not with the words. They actually make sense for a change. Just a …
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Kneeling Man: Oi, God! You there? God: Of course, Neel, as always. What’s on your mind? KM: This old tweet from the old coot’s like a get out of hell free card. You think that’s a good idea? God: What are you talking about, Neel? KM: He’s saying that no sin is as strong as …
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